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Divorce is a hard process for anyone to go through. It’s emotionally exhausting, and it often disrupts your financial stability (among other things). Many people experiencing a divorce find it particularly difficult to become financially independent again. Owning a home is an excellent way to regain stability and build a secure future. And did you know that 17% of the US homebuyers are single women? A home purchase might sound like an overwhelming prospect, but it can go quite smoothly when you have the right mindset and strategies in place. Today, AmeriDiamond Legal Document Services shares some tips for buying a home during or shortly after a divorce. Is Buying a Home a Good Investment? Purchasing a home is usually a fantastic investment because the value of real estate tends to increase over time. Plus, a home is an asset that can provide stability for divorcees who are starting over. Homeownership also offers tax benefits that can lower your annual tax bill, and you can gain financial freedom and independence by owning a home instead of renting. Further, during a recession, buying a home is usually a safer investment than entering the stock market. Evaluating Your Financial Standing Before Purchasing Before making any significant financial decisions (such as purchasing a home), it’s essential to assess your financial status. Divorce often brings the division of assets, so it’s critical to evaluate your situation to determine your debt and creditworthiness. Evaluating your financial standing will help you plan for the future and enable you to identify properties within your price range. The Different Factors to Consider in a Home Purchase It’s also important to evaluate several factors before buying a specific property. These include the location, style, age, condition, square footage, and overall quality of the house. Location is a crucial factor to consider because you want a home in a safe and thriving neighborhood with great schools (among other things). Finding the Right Home Identifying the right home is often the hardest part of the home purchase process. It’s ideal to find an experienced real estate agent that can ease the process. Choose an agent who is familiar with your area so they can help you evaluate different properties and narrow them down to the one that best suits your needs. After looking at various properties, be sure to arrange a home inspection to assess the home's condition. Managing a Mutually-Owned Property If you and your ex-spouse are homeowners, you might need to manage a mutually-owned property during or after the divorce. If you intend to keep your home, your ex-spouse will need to sign quite a few legal documents. Be sure to pursue legal advice on how to go about this process and manage it well to ensure your interest remains secure. Preparing for Moving Day Moving day can be the most stressful part of purchasing a home, but planning early and staying organized will help it go smoothly. Keep a list of essential tasks and things that you need to pack. Consider hiring professional movers if you’re pressed for time, and remember to prepare a budget for moving expenses so that you can remain in good financial standing. The Bottom Line Purchasing a home can be a valuable investment for those going through a divorce, but there’s no denying the challenges that come with it. It’s crucial to understand your financial position, evaluate your property budget, and consider all your options during the house hunt. With solid financial planning and professional guidance, you can gain financial freedom and independence through homeownership. Remember that a bit of research and prep work can go a long way toward ensuring a smooth and successful process! Author: Shannon Shore AmeriDiamond Legal Document Services is an independent contractor that provides legal and administrative services to attorneys, businesses and individuals. Visit our website to learn more!

Divorce is not only hard on the parents. The children are affected as well. Their lives are also put in a temporary tail spin because they are insecure about their own future. So how do we combat that issue with the least amount of discomfort for them? One main issue is to never try to make the children take sides. The parents need to let them be children. Never talk bad about the other parent to or in front of the children, even if it is the other parent’s fault the divorce is happening. Do not ever fight with your soon to be ex-spouse in the presence of the children. Just because a person may be a bad spouse, it doesn’t mean they are a bad parent. It may damage the relationship between the parents and the children in so many levels. The child may resent the parent that is talking bad about the other parent or the child may start hating the other parent. That is not a good parenting practice because it hurts the children. The best interest of the children would be to have a relationship with both parents if it doesn’t create additional damage to them to visit with each parent. If there are NOT domestic violence issues, drug/alcohol addiction, gang violence, etc., the children’s best interest is to spend time with both parents for them to prosper in their mental development. Always, reassure the children that the divorce is not their fault. That everything will be fine. Inform them that there may be some slight changes in their lives, but everything will be alright and that you both love them very much. Sandra Knight 

Domestic violence in marriage creates cycles of abuse in individuals and the children of the individuals. Since this occurs more often to women, I will refer to the abused as women, although it can be used interchangeable between the genders. Abuse of a partner is never alright. Let’s discuss the endeavoring question that most people ask a woman that is being physically abused… “Why do you stay with him if he hits you?” There are always several responses that an abused woman gives to justify “why” they stay with a man that is abusing them, including “but, I love him,” “I’m afraid of what he will do to me if I leave,” “He didn’t mean to hurt me, he was just mad,” “He loves me and is really good to me most of the time,” and even make up excuses about injuries saying they fell down the stairs or hit a wall. As a friend or family member of the women that tolerate the abuse, you get used to hearing the excuses of “why” they have bruises on their face or broken arms. You feel helpless. No matter what you tell them, they keep going back to their abuser. Let’s start to uncover the reason “why” they keep going back. The injuries from physical abuse heals, but the damage that is causes by the physical abuse is very much psychological abuse, as well. An abuser beats down a person psychologically making them think the incidents are their fault and they would be nothing without them. They manipulate the abused person into thinking that the abuser is somewhat of God in their world. The abused woman truly loses the sense of what is right or wrong anymore. She starts to think if she doesn’t do certain things anymore, that he will stop hitting her. The truth is that he just finds more reasons to hit her. It is never ending cycle. The abuser will start to isolate her from her friends and family as a way of controlling her. She starts to be alone with only her abuser to manipulate her thinking. The abused continue to strive to make the abuser happy and tries to get his approval and acceptance and if she does, it is only temporary. Eventually, this pattern becomes an obsession or like an addiction to her. Life is like a big roller coaster. When things are good, they are really good, but when things are bad, they are really bad. There is no middle. The roller coaster does not stay on level ground. It has a constant high and low affect. Children that witness the abuse, without therapy, have a higher tendency to become abused or become the abuser in future relationships. They learn the behavior from what they see everyday as being a regular part of life. They do not know any different. So, what do we do to help someone in this situation? The truth is, you cannot help them until they are ready to be helped. You can continue to be there for them if they want to talk. You can try to get close enough to them to help them make an escape plan when they are ready to leave. You can help brainstorm ideas on how they can survive without the abuser. Always try to convince them to call the police if he gets violent. There are no promises that the abused will not return to the abuser. Try to get them to seek therapy to help them overcome the abusive relationship. More often than not, abusive relationship cause Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome on the abused. They will need the therapy to help stop the cycle. I would like to mention two (2) movies that really play on my emotions from being a victim of domestic violence myself and my son twenty (20) years ago and the journey we went through in our process of recovery from it. “Sleeping with the Enemy” (1991) starring Julia Roberts, and “Enough” (2002) starring Jennifer Lopez. By mentioning these movies, I am not suggesting a means to an end by killing the abuser. I personally used the legal system to my advantage to eliminate the threat. I did learn to fight back like these women characters did in movies.

While I was in college getting my BA in Psychology, our team performed a research study on our fellow peers at college. Our theory was there would be more individuals getting a higher education that were from an intact family (meaning, not from a divorced or single family home). We surveyed the college students from all different backgrounds, ethnicities, and majors. Our study results revealed that our theory was inconclusive. That being said, the assumption about children coming from “a broken” home will strive less than children coming from an intact home, is not true. Divorce does effect children, just as children are effected by parents that stay married that fight all the time. Parents of any marital status can raise ambitious and thriving children.

R espect the right to disagree. E xpress your real concerns. S hare common goals and interests. O pen yourself to different points of view. L isten carefully to all proposals. U nderstand the major issues involved. T hink about possible consequences. I magine several possible alternative solutions. O ffer some reasonable compromises. N egotiate mutually fair cooperative agreements. By Robert Valett